


If She, If He

by noirchime



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Bi-Curiosity, Bisexuality, Breakups, Cheating, Drama, EriSol - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Highschoolstuck, Humanstuck, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Promstuck, SAGAstuck, Schoolstuck, gamkar - Freeform, so much drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 12:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7532989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirchime/pseuds/noirchime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanaya is less calm than she seems. Eridan's gone over his head. And Sollux might not hate someone as much as he seems to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If She, If He

**Author's Note:**

> I realised that the italics aren't working for this fic, so they'll be added in soon.

**Eridan -- > Locate the nerd.**

Eridan Ampora is a go-getter.  
At least that’s what his mother told him one day as she sung to him in three languages and sheltered him from his father.  
Now, she’s gone, and so is his ability to speak even a hint of Indian language, but like his tendency to curse in Italian or Greek her memory never seems to fade.

He does it for her, or at least that's what he says when he goes marching right into the eighth period English class (the teacher’s not even fuckin’ there, so who gives a shit) and taps the shoulder of a skinny, brown-haired guy in the back row who seems to be messing around on his phone rather than writing.

He begins as if Eridan is someone else- probably Karkat- but then tenses as he sees the purple of his scarf in his peripheral vision.

“ED.”

“Sol, get your bony arse out here, we have shit to discuss.”

 

\----------------------------

**Sollux --- > Wonder what the fuck is going on.**

 

He’s barely dragged you to the empty classroom at the end of the English block when you hear the bell ring, and if this asshole keeps you overtime you think you’ll hack his Twitter account a third time.

Usually, despite your schoolwide reputation as former archrivals, he relays news and messages from the nicer popular kids to your own friends, who somehow ended up hanging out with people like him. And then there’s your ex, FF, whom he very devotedly supports as a best friend now that she’s rejected him and he’s moved on.

“Sol. Care to explain the specifics of Fef’s prom date?”

 

_Wait, what?_

 

Didn’t he know that you’d practically ignored her for Aradia, all while harbouring pretty fucked up feelings about duality and what counts as cheating?

Obviously not, from the way he’s looking at you expectantly.

“I don’t know, athhole.” You reply bluntly, and stare at a spot on the carpet.

Eridan goes to say something, but then stops. When he finally does, his voice is a mix of disbelieving suspicion and what sounds like a sneer.

“When Fef got asked to prom by some fuckin’ ass who was too cowardly to do it in person, I admit I expected it to be you, Sol. Weren’t there still some unresolved.. _feelings_ an’ whatnot left after that shitstorm of a relationship?”

You almost want to jump out the window he’s so inconveniently leaning against. Though, you guess he could be leaning like that to get on your level. Your habit of sleepless nights and endless coding hadn’t proved good for your growth, while his mix of absolutely fucking unfair genetics and swimming career had ensured he ended up pretty tall.

Although shit he says does irk you occasionally, you can’t lie and say you still hate Eridan with the ferocity you did back in Junior year. To be honest, (and you would die before admitting this aloud to anyone) he’s changed a shitload for the better since then and is actually one of the nicest and fairest guys you know.

..Which is part of the reason you harbor this stupid, admittedly _massive_ crush on the guy. The other part is his hot swimmer bod and dark, fluffy hair. You don’t know what it is about the guy that does it for you, but you do know you’d tap the _shit_ out of that if he wasn’t insanely popular and straight and attractive while you were an unpopular nerd with acne and a lisp.

Well, soon he’d be going off to some fancy college like the rest of the rich and intelligent and you’d be stuck here working in some shitty Target. Like he said, prom was coming up, and if you did end up taking a guy ( _him him_ you _know_ you want _him-_ ) you’d rather your preferences be relayed on by a guy you trust not to freak out. So you swallow your pride in front of what was once the second-biggest tightass in Junior year (second next to Equius, of course) and attempt what you think is a valid truth.

 

“…Long thtory thort… I realised that I’m bi.” He knows his lisp is coming out now that he’s genuinely nervous, but he can’t help it. He prays to whatever’s out there that Eridan won’t laugh. Or worse.  
Eridan raises an eyebrow.  
“And I’m gay. So?”

 

Sollux’s heart does that weird flippy thing he hates, where he can feet it beating in his chest. He isn’t sure if the cartwheels in his stomach are happy or anxious. Maybe a bit of both.  
“..You’re gay?” Shit. Bad move- Eridan is giving him the eyebrow again.  
“Got a problem with that, Sol?” He tests, and suddenly his height advantage over Sollux seems all the more prevalent.  
“U-uh, no. Jutht..” Sollux trails off then and there, studying Eridan’s expression. He flinches, swallows a lump in his throat he didn’t know was there and continues.  
“How did you know?”  
Eridan smirks, but then his gaze pans from Sollux to the wall behind him.  
“Junior year. Fef had just rejected me. Bein’ the little shit I was, I was miserable. But then this new guy came to school one day, and..” He sighs in what Sollux assumes is a wistful manner, and flicks a speck of dust off his jacket that Sollux can’t see.  
“He made me wanna do things I’d never even considered with FEF, Sol. He.. _did things_ to me. But the indignant fuck just had to get himself a _girlfriend_ , not only that but he evven screwwed around with my friends. And he wasn’t even that good-lookin’, one of those typical nerd-types, y’know, wwith the acne and the shit teeth and the suspiciously scruffy-lookin’ neck…”

He trails off, and Sollux knows he must be really opening up, because his stutter is cropping up in words it shouldn’t and his accent is even more pronounced.

But then it clicks like a light turning on.  
Junior year.  
He _has_ to take this chance.  
This boy, the one who _loathed_ him for most of their high school career; the one he’d seen break noses and turn faces purple and black and blue all in the pursuit of his beloved Feferi, only for her to turn around and date the scrawny new guy, was practically admitting his boycrush to Sollux. He just hopes and prays that his hunch is right.

He forces himself to look up into Eridan’s dark eyes and almost dies right then and there when he sees how perfectly the light catches on what he could almost swear were tiny flecks of violet and amber amid the deep hazel.

“..Me too,” he blurts. _Smooth, Captor._

Eridan snaps back to face him like he’s forgotten that they’d ever talked.  
“What?”

  
“I mean.. that’th how I realithed I was bi.” Fuck this. Fuck his shitty lisp for ruining this.  
“Oh. Right.” Eridan deadpans, and checks his watch.  
“Sophomore year,” he begins, and hates himself just a little when he subconsciously checks to see if Eridan is listening. He seems to be.

“It was after AA.” He hesitates, and he really hates how lisped and malformed his sentences are compared to Eridan’s smooth albeit stuttering way.

“ …And after FF. I realithed I never could theem to make it work with girlth. And I uthed to _hate_ him. But then.. I thtarted to notice thingth about him.. he was actually really, _really_ handthome. But fuck, if I told him he’d probably shove me into a brick wall.”

He pauses, trying for a reaction, but he gets none. Eridan doesn’t even blink in his direction. So he takes a breath in much more and tries to flatten out his voice. Of course, it still comes out octaves higher than Eridan’s and as nasally as usual.

 

“He wath really smart, alright.. but he didn’t let that drag him down. He was actually pretty thporty too. I uthed to go to his practices where I thought he couldn’t see me.. and-“

“Solluxander Captor.”

Sollux jerks his head up to meet Eridan’s cold glare, but is genuinely shocked to find in its place a soft expression that’s almost pitying.

“You are a fuckin’ _idiot_ , you know that?”

Sollux can almost feel the sting of tears threatening at the corners of his eyes, and dammit he is _not_ crying right now. But instead of the snarling jeer he expected, or the storming out he’d anticipated, he is met by something soft against his lips.

He opens his fucked-up eyes, wide- panicked, but only succeeds in turning bright red as he realises that Eridan has bent down to his level and is _kissing him_ on the _mouth_.

_Holy fucking shit, Eridan is kissing him on the mouth._

Sollux was never a good kisser, if the coy giggling of Feferi and Aradia were anything to go by, and fucked-up teeth combined with his red and blue braces never helped with that. But he reciprocates as best he can and hopes that this isn’t some kind of twisted fantasy.

\----------------------------

**Eridan -- > Kiss the nerd.**

Sweet mother of hell, how did you even end up loving this idiot, he’s pouring his sweet little heart out to you and you’re not sure if your gay fuckin’ soul can take it.  
But as he flinches and stops and restarts almost timidly- (And that’s fucking _weird_ , because in all your years of knowing Sollux Captor he’s never been shy before. You can’t say you mind one bit.) You realise something. For one, he’s blushing like a virgin schoolgirl on a date, and two, he won’t look you in the eyes unless he thinks you can’t see him doing it.

The final piece puts itself together before he even has time to finish what he’s saying, and you speak before the rational part of your brain has time to catch up. _Great going, Ampora._

Before you know what you’re doing, you’ve bent down and sweetly pressed your lips to his, tilting his chin up so he knows what’s going on.

And of course, now the nerves start to set in, because fuckin’ god he’s just so _vulnerable_ and see-through and tender and you want to wrap him up in your arms and tell him it’s alright-

 _Holy mother of hell he’s returning it. Sollux Captor is kissing you back._ You could almost scream, if not for your beloved nerd.

Time to show him what Ampora men are made of.

\----------------------------

**Sollux -- > How the hell does kissing work?**

While all the other kissing you’d done in your lifetime almost seemed like you were on autopilot, this is _different._ Your mind’s blank and dizzy and happy and overwhelmed and racing with these little nagging thoughts all at the same time, and you can barely remember your name when Eridan starts to move his lips.

Shit, you hadn’t anticipated how downright fucking _awesome_ kissing a guy was. Especially not _this_ guy. You can tell he’s experienced, and you don’t even want to know how.

You’ve never kissed someone taller than yourself, and so in a moment of rare decision you do what comes instinctually- you sling your arms around his neck and press yourself flush to him, and you’re sure you go beet red when he smirks against your lips and pulls you in with a firm arm around your waifish waist. Every speck of experience you thought you had was flying out the window and you feel like a fumbling, blushy virgin like the protagonist of one of Karkat’s romcoms.

You part your lips to allow his tongue entrance, and almost moan outright when he slips the appendage past your lips and entwines it with yours.  
You do the best you can to move your mouth along with his flawless rhythm, but he’s definitely pulling the strings here. Good thing you’re a total bottom.

After a minute or two of this, he breaks away from the kiss and you make an embarrassingly whiny, needy sound before you catch yourself and look up at him. Your face is _definitely_ bright red and both your glasses are askew.

“So. Uh-“ You begin, but you tense up when you feel his long fingers drawing up your sides.

“Eridan I-“

“Don’t worry, Sol, we don’t have to go any further.” He coaxes, and tilts your head up to smile at you.

And that smile is _exactly_ what breaks the last reserve holding back your affection for this wonderful boy. It’s so different from his usual scowl or leer and so much more free- he looks about three years younger than usual and his eyes seem even more beautiful.

You simply nod before he grazes your bottom lip and slides a hand under your shirt.

 _Where the fuck is he going with this?_ You ponder, but your thoughts come to a complete halt as you realise he’s removed his lips from yours and he’s trailing down from where he licked the shell of your ear, planting slow, sensual kisses down the side of your neck.

You feel something within your very core burn white hot as his tongue and teeth find their way to your second-most prominent erogenous zone. Fuck, does he even know what that does to you?

He smirks against your collarbone for a brief moment before he begins to suck and lick at your neck and you let out a needy whine you didn’t even know you could produce.

He seems to take this as means of encouragement, and kisses the tender skin there before he starts sucking and biting and swirling his tongue around the same spot.

And that is finally the moment you realise you’re rock-hard and panting aloud, all from this boy and his tongue and his hands- _oh god_ , they’re rubbing slow circles down your back and drawing dangerously close to your hipbones.

You barely know what’s happening as he pins you to the wall (which is a hell of a lot closer than when you started kissing..) and ruts against you, but you let out a loud, wanton moan followed by a gasp when his kneecap ruts against you. You’d always been embarrassingly loud, but it's just  _heightened_ with him.

He immediately stops sucking and he comes off your neck with a slight smack, but you realise in your hazy state that he’s staring at you with wide eyes and cinnamon cheeks that are flushed a ruddy colour under the brown.

“Holy _shit_ , Sol.”  
“You th-thtupid thtuttering fuck, thith ith your fault, you bring out the goddamn bottom in me, how the hell was I thuppothed to know that you’d find my fucking weak point?” You blurt, and the end of the sentence sounds a lot more like a squawk than you’d meant it to.

He stands up from where he’d bent down slightly to kiss you, and he looks at you with an expression full of something you can’t place.

“That was fuckin’ _awesome_. Y-you’re damn _beautiful_ , you know that?”

You just stare at him with wide mismatched eyes, and you’re sure you look exactly like either a startled bird or a deer in the headlights to him, but he’s all tan skin and dark hair and height as he grins lewdly at you.

“Better go take care of that before someone sees.”

And fuck him, because you can literally see the tent through your jeans and you know you’re gonna have trouble hiding that under your shirt all the way to the bathrooms. You suddenly get an amazing idea and fuck it, if he was gonna give you a damn hickey before you were even boyfriends, you can ask for this.

“..Unleth you want to help out.”

His smirk is almost hungry for a second, and you swear your knees are weak but dammit this is the guy you kicked in the nuts for stealing your lunch money in 9th grade. But then his smile drops and it’s replaced by a look of open worry.

“Wait- Sol, I’d love to- but what exactly are we?”

You grab his hand and smile as chastely as you can with an embarrassingly massive hard-on and you stretch on your tiptoes to whisper it in his ear.

“Boyfriends.” And you don’t even lisp it.

**Author's Note:**

> If She, If He - UV boi فوق بنفسجي, EASTGHOST  
> This Song Is Not About a Girl - Flume, Chet Faker


End file.
